


dear juyeon

by kittyeon



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Hyunjae, Letter, M/M, death anniversary, eric writes a letter to juyeon, he's just mentioned tho, juyeon is dead, kinda sad, tw // suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyeon/pseuds/kittyeon
Summary: eric writes a letter to juyeon, his dead boyfriend.
Relationships: Lee Juyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	dear juyeon

**Author's Note:**

> hiii, it's my first time writing something in english, so if there are some mistakes I'm sorry, let me know them in the comments!!

hi juyeon,

how are you?  
it's me, eric, do you remember me?  
I think about you day and night, I think about you every second of my life, and I always miss you.

I miss you, I miss your pretty, shiny cat-like eyes, who turned into two crescent moons everytime you smiled. I miss your huge smile everytime we passed near a pet shop and you'd see those tiny kittens you liked so much. I miss your loud and cute laugh everytime I would tell you a stupid joke, just for listening to that beautiful sound that you made. I miss your big hands, those hands that held me when I was scared, shaking, those hands that caressed my hair and my wet, salty face when I was crying, those hands that held me tight to you when you needed it. I miss your chest, that chest where I slept everynight, listening to your heart beat while I was falling into morpheus' arms. I miss your long and skinny legs, where I always sat while we watched movies on the sofa, cuddling and kissing each other sleepily, those legs that helped you run to me when I was feeling the most useless thing in the world. I miss your long, dark blue hair, those that covered your eyes and your forehead when you slept so peacefully that I asked myself "is this really my energetic juyeon?". you looked so angelic when you slept, you know? with your pink lips parted and your cheeks always with a delicate tone of red, you looked like an angel on earth. I miss your delicate but low voice, I miss when you sang to me that cute lullaby that your grandma teached to you when you were still a child. “don't worry, I'm here even if you sleep”, said the lullaby, but that day, when I woke up, you weren't by my side.

time passes so quickly, juyeon. two years flied right in front of my eyes. I miss you every single day, I miss everything of you, even the smallest and insignificant things. I miss our late night conversations about literally anything, I miss our little discussions over the stupidest things, I miss our intimate moments, I miss every second that I spent with you.

why did you have to leave so quickly, juyeon? why didn't you tell me anything about how you felt, about your intrusive thoughts? I could've help you, or at least, I would've try. "I didn't tell you because you already had your problems", that's what you wrote on the letter that you left on my bed, but you too had your problems when you listened to mine. but it's okay, it's hard to tell something like this to someone, it's not your fault. it never was, is and will never be your fault. you just wanted some peace, and I understand it, but I - we, miss you.

you know, since the moment you left, I never had a relationship. I don't have the strength to accept that you left, and I still love you like the first day we met.  
how is heaven? I bet that you're beautiful ever up there, dressed all in white with your beautiful blue hair slicked back, your forehead showing. can I join you? maybe up there we can get married, just how you dreamed.

I have to go now, jaehyun is calling me because we have to come visit you at the cemetery, today it's your death anniversary, but I think that in these days I will join you there, in heaven.  
I love you forever.

always yours,  
eric.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> you can find me on:  
> ⚊ twitter: ISTGYE0N  
> ⚊ wattpad: 90sNEOCULT  
> ⚊ instagram: cottagecorw/ch3vckmate


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